I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
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Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
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I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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