just tell him i said nine months
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
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Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
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You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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