Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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