Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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