Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
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Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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