bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize