Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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