I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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