She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize