ya dads aren't the best wingmen
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
where does the pee come out of this thing
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize