i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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