the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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