And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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