It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize