If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize