Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize