Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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