I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize