the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
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I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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