I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
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Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
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ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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