I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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