Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
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They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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