Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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