omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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