your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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