I just made out with a guy for $7.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Dick very happy bro
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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