new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize