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just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
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