get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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