she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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