Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize