We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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