he thought i was a dude.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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