billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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