started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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