there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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