I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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