i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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