Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
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