Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
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Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize