My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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