I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize