help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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