there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
i've created a new STD.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize