I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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