don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So here I am, sexting at work.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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