just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize