it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
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Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
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Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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