The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
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No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
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My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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