Texts From Last Night

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  (650): View more from California

  just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.

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  (650): just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low. http://tfl.nu/fwog
  Replies (60) Good night (1246) Bad night (2435) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.

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  (603): turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops. http://tfl.nu/vdzv
  Replies (20) Good night (859) Bad night (5628) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok

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  (330): yah i'm on my way- is everything ok? (1-330) i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok http://tfl.nu/s4ag
  Replies (35) Good night (961) Bad night (7109)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."

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  (513): she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it." http://tfl.nu/fqo2
  Replies (11) Good night (5860) Bad night (1137) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...

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  (650): Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day... http://tfl.nu/p3lj
  Replies (51) Good night (6440) Bad night (947) Order T-Shirt
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.

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  (918): Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch. http://tfl.nu/cew3
  Replies (14) Good night (4523) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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  (310): View more from California

  I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.

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  (310): I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit. http://tfl.nu/d25i
  Replies (17) Good night (3993) Bad night (2077) Order T-Shirt
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  (352): View more from Florida

  Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

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  (352): Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person. http://tfl.nu/l0db
  Replies (10) Good night (1040) Bad night (3490) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.

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  (206): Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this. http://tfl.nu/t9dh
  Replies (4) Good night (2390) Bad night (956) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.

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  (248): Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market. http://tfl.nu/wxnm
  Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (1220) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"

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  (616): Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son" http://tfl.nu/3jto
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (596)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"

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  (248): So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal" http://tfl.nu/879f
  Replies (6) Good night (1539) Bad night (561)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten

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  (904): Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten http://tfl.nu/vxzl
  Replies (2) Good night (920) Bad night (216) Order T-Shirt
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?

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  (814): how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus? http://tfl.nu/r0fm
  Replies (3) Good night (582) Bad night (181) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,

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  (970): my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off, http://tfl.nu/5tu5
  Replies (3) Good night (458) Bad night (201)

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